Breathe Me: Smith and Belle (Royals Saga Book 11) Read online

  15

  Belle

  “I think that’s everything,” I announced to Nora, wishing that I felt as confident as I sounded. Lola had insisted on driving the two hours from Silverstone to Sussex to celebrate the latest big milestone for Bless. I’d tried to talk her out of it, but only half-heartedly. The truth was that the idea of seeing a friend had me more excited than I’d felt since we’d left hospital with Penny. Naturally, Lola’s visit coincided with the same day the new gardener was starting on, leaving Smith and I to our first real attempt to juggle having an infant and dealing with the outside world.

  Nora poked her head over the changing bag. “Do you want me to check?”

  I shook my head. I wasn’t about to admit to her that I’d written out a checklist last night and memorized it. It was only her second day on with us, but I didn’t want her thinking I was completely helpless. She was an extra pair of hands like Smith had said. She was just here to make life easier, not replace me. “I think we’re ready.”

  She picked it up, not questioning me more, and swung it over her shoulder. “Do you want me to carry her down?”

  I nodded, passing Penny to her. “I’m just going to grab my purse.”

  We were leaving with more than enough time to spare. Smith had pulled the Range Rover around to the front drive and warmed it up. The only thing left was to check my lipstick and drive into town. I couldn’t deny that despite the happiness I felt, I dreaded today a little, too. It was the first time I was attempting to take the baby out socially. Yes, I would have Nora there, but I wanted things to go smoothly. If I thought I’d have to spend one more day trapped inside Thornham, wandering the halls like a prisoner, I might go mental.

  I was most of the way to the front door when Mrs. Winters caught me. “Will you be taking dinner at the normal hour?”

  I suspected that Mrs. Winters was horrified by Smith’s and my lack of decorum. Given that we had no formal dining room, we often took dinner in the kitchen with whatever staff was around for the evening. Some nights we skipped an evening meal entirely. On more than one occasion, she’d cooked a whole meal only to discover we weren’t hungry. We’d quickly learned that on those nights, we were expected to eat whether we wanted to or not. It was a lot less like having a housekeeper and more like having an overbearing governess.

  “I suppose it would be better to ask Mr. Price. I don’t know how long he’ll be with Rowan.”

  Her mouth pinched into a grim line, revealing a mapwork of wrinkles. “Customarily, the lady of the house makes these decisions.”

  I bit my tongue before I could tell her that I was about as far from a lady as she could imagine.

  “I guess you’ll have to settle for the gentleman of the house.” I hoped she used that terminology with Smith. The only thing more suspect than calling me a lady was thinking of him as a gentleman.

  Not that he’d been his usual self in that regard since Penny was born.

  “And will Miss Welter be dining with you?”

  I could tell from the way she asked that the idea of the nanny eating dinner with the family was even more scandalous than my disinterest in running the household like we were in a nineteenth century novel.

  “For fuck’s sake, I don’t know,” I exploded. Mrs. Winters grimaced slightly but maintained her composure. I suppose she now knew exactly how much of a lady I was. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to be late, and the baby is in the car.”

  “Of course, I would never dream of keeping you from your child,” she said in a clipped tone, but there was a current running through her words like a trickle of ice cold water.

  I felt considerably less buoyant as I stepped out the front door, shrugging my Burberry trench coat over my shoulders. A loud whistle sliced through the air, followed by Smith’s voice. “I’m not certain the village is prepared for you.”

  My husband’s feet, clad in chestnut-leather hunting boots, crunched along the gravel pathway toward me, a smirk carved on his handsome face. Smith had acclimated to the country with enviable ease. His Barbour jacket fit him like he’d been born to this lifestyle, its waxed canvas shell a deep olive-green that brought out his eyes. He’d turned up his brown corduroy collar against the wind, which had swept his hair into a sexy mess. Today he’d skipped his razor, leaving a noticeable stubble along his strong jaw. My core tightened at the sight of him. That had been happening more and more of late.

  It was the only thing that was happening. I’d lost track of all the reasons why.

  “I’ll see you this evening,” I said, descending the stairs. “Where’s Rowan?”

  “Apparently, he doesn’t need my opinion on how to run an estate,” Smith said ruefully.

  My mouth gaped. “He didn’t?”

  “In fairness, he’s right. I don’t think the month we spent with your mother actually counts as real experience.” He bent to sweep a kiss over my lips, when he finally straightened up, his green eyes stormed. “I’m not certain I want you to leave, after all.”

  I licked my lower lip, searching for signs that he meant it. I’d managed to wriggle into a pre-pregnancy pair of black, leather pants and a white silk blouse that buttoned too low to be proper for a countryside luncheon. Smith caught the lapels of my cashmere coat and tugged them together.

  “I don’t think Mrs. Winters approves of me going out like this,” I murmured to him. “Actually, I don’t think she approves of me in general.”

  “Who cares, beautiful?” he muttered. “Although, I think I’d rather you stay home and work if you’re going to wear something like this. It reminds me of sneaking peeks at your breasts when you worked for me.”

  “Sir,” I said in mock horror. “If I’d known you were looking…”

  “Oh, you knew,” he growled. “Maybe when you come back, you could give me another peek at—”

  “Sorry to interrupt,” Nora’s voice called, and we broke apart to find her head popping out of the Range Rover’s back seat, a low cry filling the air behind her. “But she’s not fond of her car seat.”

  “On my way!” I ducked under Smith’s arm, throwing a kiss over my shoulder at him. It was the first time in weeks I felt like he meant his flirtations. He hadn’t chosen each word carefully. He hadn’t avoided touching me. I’d begun to worry that he didn’t see me the same way after Penny was born. It’s not like I could blame him for being tentative after that. Truthfully, I rarely found myself even thinking about things like sex these days. Why had I waited so long to bring Nora on? I already felt more like my old self.

  That feeling fled from me as I climbed into the driver’s seat to discover Penny was no longer fussy, but pissed.

  “Sorry, darling,” I called.

  “I think I better stay back here,” Nora said. “She’ll calm down once we get going.”

  I hesitated for a moment. I should be the one back there, trying to calm her down. What if she just got more and more upset? But more than anything I wanted today to be as normal as possible. She’d calm down like Nora said and I’d have a moment of normal for the first time in weeks, I decided as I shifted into drive and started toward the village. It was time to get back to the real world.

  16

  Smith

  “Detective Longborn called,” Humphrey informed me as I stepped into the mudroom. The first time I tracked mud into the foyer I’d learned the hard way that this was Mrs. Winters’ house—I only happened to live here.

  “What did he want?” I loosened the twin straps at the top of my boot, giving me enough room to yank it off. I left the pair of them on a berber rug by the back door. Shucking off my jacket, I ran a hand under the collar of my wool sweater to soothe the goddamn constant itching it caused.

  “Apparently, there’s been some development regarding the situation in the wine cellar,” he said meaningfully.

  “The bones?” I asked. I had barely thought about them in weeks. I’d been too distracted with everything else going on at Thornham to worry about someone else’s traged
y.

  “He’d like to meet with you.”

  I heaved a sigh. The trouble with living in the countryside was that people were constantly inventing drama out of sheer boredom. No wonder half the country’s television programs were about little old ladies solving murders in idyllic country towns. “I’ll phone him.”

  I’d only gotten a few steps inside the kitchen when Mrs. Winters confronted me, a long wooden spoon resting ominously in her palm. If Belle thought the old housekeeper—who doubled as our cook, per her own request—disliked her, she hated me and did little to hide it. Part of me wondered what she had against me. At first I’d thought it might have to do with being Scottish, but she’d been warm enough to Rowan, who took pride in his heritage to a concerning level. I suspected she simply disliked working in a less than traditional household.

  “Mrs. Winters, how are you?” I asked, doing my best to be polite as my patience wore thin. I’d had very little sleep last night. Belle had taken to sleeping through Penny’s cries until I shook her awake. At least, she was acting more like herself during the day.

  “Well, that depends, Mr. Price,” she said in a stern voice, and I braced myself, “on whether my services are actually needed in this house?”

  I frowned. There was no way we could keep on top of all this space, especially with a newborn demanding most of our attention. “Of course. You’re essential.”

  “Then, you don’t like my cooking?” she demanded.

  I blinked. “Your cooking is fine.”

  “Then what time would you like dinner served every night?” she asked through gritted teeth.

  I’d guessed it was about something as simple as this. Belle and I weren’t likely to start living a traditional country lifestyle anytime soon, not while her business was growing so swiftly or I was starting my own practice, but if we didn’t make some changes, we were going to have a mutiny on our hands. Rowan wanted to be left to do his work in peace. Humphrey never seemed to have anything to do, given our lack of visitors. Half of me thought he only existed in the pockets of time in which we needed him. I never saw him save for when he appeared to deliver a message. And Mrs. Winters took our liberal schedule as a personal insult.

  “Seven,” I answered her. “I’ll be certain Belle knows, and if we’re caught at work, you can save us plates.”

  “Save you plates?” she echoed.

  I adopted my best lawyer voice, the one I saved for dealing with particularly difficult clients. “I’m afraid it will take us some time to adjust from our lives in London to Thornham.”

  The stern angles of her face softened slightly.

  “And the baby,” I added, certain this would be the lynchpin to my argument. She couldn’t possibly disagree with the struggles of new parents.

  “Perhaps, if the missus was more focused on her babe, she wouldn’t be running around looking for happiness.”

  “Belle prefers Ms.,” I informed her, dropping all pretense of formality. “Belle is a wonderful mother.”

  “Of course, she is, Mr. Price,” she said with a cold smile that chilled me to my bones. “But, word to the wise, a woman can be a wonderful mother and unhappy.”

  Her words were still ringing in my ears when I stepped into my study to phone Detective Longborn. Other than a few important documents regarding our purchase of Thornham, I hadn’t gotten around to unpacking, so I was surprised to discover half the boxes there’d been the last time I’d been in here. On my desk, Belle’s elegant script was dashed across a notepad.

  I took a few minutes while Nora was here to unpack a bit. Hope you don’t mind.

  I smiled, feeling vindicated in pushing for the nanny to finally start. There was no way I was going to admit it to Belle, but I’d been feeling restless myself. On one hand, I could lose myself for hours watching Penny sleep. The rest of the time, I found myself...bored. I’d been warned when we purchased this house that I’d need at least a skeleton staff to be certain things would run smoothly. I’d taken the advice, not wanting to worry about running a house and having a new baby. The trouble was that I was completely redundant now. Belle had Penny to look after, as well as Bless. Penny had Belle and Nora now. Rowan worried about the grounds. Mrs. Winters ran the household. And Humphrey took care of everything else. I was still stewing on this when Longborn answered his phone.

  “Detective? Smith Price,” I said in a clipped tone.

  “Ah, Price. Thank you for returning my call.”

  “I assume there's been an update on the finding at Thornham. “ He’d told me he would call with any news. I hadn’t expected there to be any.

  “Perhaps I could come by and speak to you in person?” he suggested.

  “If you like,” I said slowly. It was never a good sign when the police wanted to chat, but that had been my experience in the city—where things actually happened. I reminded myself that this was just a symptom of living in the middle of the countryside.

  “I’ll stop by in a few days.” I heard papers rustle on his desk.

  “Should I be concerned?” I asked. I’d finally stopped dreaming of the pile of bones they’d found in my basement. I suspected they’d be making another appearance tonight.

  Longhorn didn’t respond immediately. His hesitation said more than our entire call. “It’s likely nothing, but I’d rather tie this up.”

  “Of course.” I hung up with him, my feet already carrying me to the lift. I rode it down to the quiet lower level. The swimming pool pump hummed in the background. If I turned that direction, I would find myself in it’s muggy surroundings. Instead, I walked the opposite direction to the wine cellar and it's almost preternaturally cool space. It’s why I’d chosen it for the wine cellar, but as I ran a finger over its stone walls, I found myself wondering what secrets these walls kept—and whether we’d unearth them.

  17

  Belle

  Lola squealed, jumping up from the table as soon as I entered The Briar Rose Inn holding Penny in my arms. The baby had only stopped crying when Nora unbuckled her from the seat and handed her to me with a sympathetic smile. I couldn’t help being glad that she wasn’t greeting my business partner with screams. Lola hugged me around the shoulder, peeking at Penny.

  “She’s gorgeous, just like her mama,” Lola murmured, reaching to offer Penny a finger.

  “She’s a diva,” I warned her.

  “So she is just like you,” Lola said with a laugh. “Come see your Aunt Lola.” She scooped the baby up, turning her for further inspection. Penny responded by spitting up all over her fitted blazer. Lola winced but forced a bright smile. “This is why I’m childless.”

  “I’m so sorry.” I turned to find Nora already digging in the diaper bag for something to wipe up the mess. She finally found a burp cloth, and she passed it apologetically to Lola.

  Lola passed the baby back to her, shaking her head, as she dabbed at the spot. “It’s nothing, and it’s black, so you can’t even notice.”

  “Her tummy was probably a bit upset from the car,” Nora said. “She’s not fond of the drive.”

  “Oh, I should have come to you!” Lola’s eyes widened with a clear question: why hadn’t I said anything?

  I had to bite back a saucy response. Lola could have come to me, but I hadn’t wanted her to. I’d been dying for an excuse to get out of Thornham. The problem was there wasn’t much to do in the local village and given the wintery weather, I couldn’t justify dragging an infant out to explore. Lola’s visit was the perfect reason to go into town.

  “It’s no trouble,” I said. “We didn’t mind at all.” I shot Nora a look that dared her to contradict me.

  “I got us a table. I had to fight people off for it.” Lola grinned mischievously as we joined her at the corner table. The Saint’s Grave was completely empty, which wasn’t exactly a surprise given the time of day and the fact that it was the fanciest of restaurants—by the standards of the village of Briarshead. The bistro had clearly once been a house, but had been converted in
to a mix of pub and fine dining. It was too sophisticated to qualify as the former but not posh enough to be the latter. A wood stove was lit in the corner and abstract art decorated the walls. The tables and chairs were an eclectic mix of styles artfully chosen rather than merely crashing. A chalkboard listed the day’s specials, which were also a combination of traditional English fare and French dishes.

  “We probably would have had more options in London,” I said, looking around.

  “I wanted to see where you lived, and you don’t need to drag Penny all the way to the city.”

  I bit my lip, forcing a smile. It was thoughtful of her. We’d only just settled into Thornham. Of course, we didn’t need to go to London, so why did my heart ache at the idea?

  “I think this little one needs to be changed,” Nora announced. “Fingers crossed there’s a spot in the loo.”

  “Oh, I didn’t…” I stared at her. It hadn’t even occurred to me that this might be a problem.

  “I’ve changed plenty of babies on the floor.” Nora cuddled her close. “It will be fine. Enjoy yourself.”

  “You should take your nanny’s advice,” Lola said as Nora disappeared down the hall with the baby. “Although, now that she’s gone, I can tell you that you are a brave woman.”

  “Huh?” But before she could explain what she meant, a waiter arrived with two glasses of champagne.

  “Oh! Good! Drink up! We’re celebrating.” Lola tapped hers to mine. “To Bless and dreams come true.”

  I repeated her words and took a sip, waiting for a moment to properly acknowledge the toast. “What did you mean? About me being brave?”

  “Your nanny is smoking hot,” she said seriously. “I don’t think most women would want someone like that around.”

  I opened my mouth, searching for a response and finding none. I’d thought about this before Penny arrived. I’d even joked with Smith about it. I’d convinced myself it didn’t matter, but now Lola was here pointing it out.