Covet Me Read online

  “No, there’s someone I need to see.”

  “I thought there might be,” she said wisely. “Don’t be afraid to trust your heart, Belle. It’s your compass, let it guide you.”

  I nodded, even as my world spun around me. How was I supposed to follow my heart’s direction when I couldn’t be still enough to know where it pointed? The only thing I knew was that right now it was pointing me to a house in Holland Park. I couldn’t see further than that, but journeys began with a single step. I was ready to take the first one.

  It was the first time we’d met in person, but I took no stock in this changing the nature of our arrangement. The only thing that had brought me to him was my own desire to escape my tangled past, and a sense of obligation to the people Hammond had destroyed. I couldn’t be certain which was more important to me. Not anymore.

  He didn’t offer me a drink as I took the seat opposite him. I didn’t even warrant a handshake. There had never been a time for pleasantries in our relationship and today would prove no exception.

  “My expectations were made clear.” It was an icy welcome, but the one I had expected after I’d received his message this morning.

  Undoubtedly, news of my sudden appearance at the airport with Belle had already filtered up to him. That was the consequence of allowing her friends to see us together. Considering she arrived at my house—our house, I corrected myself—with packed bags the night before, it was better to face the repercussions now.

  I gripped the arms of my chair, but restraint when it came to this subject wasn’t my strong suit. I bristled at the thought of explaining my choices to him. “I’m the one who has to live with my decisions.”

  “But you aren’t the only one who will live with the consequences,” Alexander growled, transforming from cold and impassive to ferocious instantly. It was a trait well suited to a king, but not one that I particularly admired. His shoulders squared in challenge. We were matched in size. But that was where our similarities ended. We each viewed ourselves as in control of the board and the other as a mere pawn.

  “I agreed to participate in this witch hunt,” I reminded him in a low voice. If he was going to choose dominance, I would show him that control was a key element of that path. A fact that he’d never understood in our long and sordid history. I’d watched him rise and fall and then ascend the throne. I respected that journey, but I also saw the truth behind his own willful determination. “I didn’t seek her out. She was sent to me.”

  “And when you realized why, you continued to use her,” he accused me, his blue eyes flashing. “You were instructed to discontinue your relationship with Belle Stuart.”

  I leaned forward, placing my palms on his desk. “I’m Scottish. We’ve never been very good at taking orders from a king.”

  “You should have considered that before you came to me seeking absolution.”

  “I came to you because you sought out the information I had, and in doing so, I broke every tenant of my profession.” Now I was seething. If I didn’t manage to calm myself, I’d regret more than my words.

  Alexander glowered at me. His disgust with my actions was as evident as his concern for Belle’s safety. It was the only reason I hadn’t shown him just how little I cared for his overbearing directives. I loosened the knot of my tie and forced myself to sit back. The more distance I kept between the two of us, the better.

  For his safety.

  “I can’t assign added security to her if you two continue to see each other openly.” He said it as a warning, but the reminder was unnecessary.

  “I’m aware of that. I assure you” I clenched my fists, cracking my knuckles to release the tension building within me. “Her safety will remain my concern.”

  “Has it ever concerned you?” Alexander folded his arms behind his head and swiveled in his chair to face his window.

  I hoped he found comfort in the views of his garden. “You’ve lived a life of privilege. You’ve never wanted for protection. I don’t expect you to understand that, outside the walls of a palace, the world doesn’t bow to other men’s whims.”

  “You think my desire to ensure her safety is a whim?” He didn’t bother to turn back to face me. In his mind, I was no more important than any other servant. “You’re so much colder than I thought, and I’ve always considered you heartless.”

  I was out of my seat before the last word left his lips. My hands slammed down on the table, but Alexander didn’t move. “I think that you have no idea what you’re doing or this would be over by now. I gave you everything you needed to prosecute him for his crimes months ago. You’ve had him in check, but you’ve made no move.”

  “We aren’t playing chess, Smith. And I’d remind you that I am the King. I’m the one who must decide if a threat is removable.”

  “Then what’s stopping you? Hammond is expendable. The threat dies with him. The only people he’s ever groomed to replace him have betrayed him.”

  Alexander turned then, his face a stony mask as he regarded me hovering over him. “You’ll excuse me for not entirely trusting a man capable of such deception.”

  “I had nothing to do with the attack.” This wasn’t the first time that I’d stated this fact, and I had a feeling it wouldn’t be the last. Not while he clung to his paranoia. It was clear no amount of evidence would convince him that Hammond was the only person he needed to worry about. “You know he’s the head of the monster. Cut him off and the rest will die.”

  “I don’t want to cut him off.” He spoke through gritted teeth. “I want him to suffer. I want him to know fear.”

  “Then I’m not the one risking anyone’s life.” I stepped back and shook my head, my contempt now matching his. “You have the power to bring this to an end, and yet you refuse to stop it.”

  “He murdered my father.”

  “Let’s not pretend that your obsession stems from a need for filial retribution. We’re beyond that. This is insanity.”

  I’d had enough—enough of the cat and mouse game. Alexander had made me a target. Now he was effectively making Belle one as well.

  “You’re right,” he said, surprising me. “This has very little to do with my father. In the event that my personal role in Hammond’s fate is ever revealed that’s how the story will be spun. Who could blame a man for seeking his father’s murderer? Who could judge a man that assassinated an assassin? It’s a matter of national security.”

  “But it’s more than that to you,” I pressed.

  “It is much more personal than that,” Alexander hissed. “You provided me with the evidence that Hammond aided Daniel on the day of my wedding. I was never the target that day. Nor was my father. For reasons that are still unclear to me, Hammond wanted him to kill my wife. I suppose that part of me does want retribution for my father’s assassination, since he was the one who prevented her murder.”

  “That is something I can understand.” And I did. The thought of Belle becoming another victim was impossible to bear. But it didn’t remove his culpability for not bringing the man to justice.

  “That surprises me.” He folded his hands in his lap and regarded me with a calculated gaze, as though he might be able to see through me and my intentions.

  “I don’t care if you doubt my empathy for your situation, but I won’t continue to sit back and allow you to do nothing.” Or was that what he was playing at? If he waited, one of us would be forced to take action ourselves. Why should a king do his own dirty work?

  “I told you I wanted him to suffer. Not because of my father or what he did to me, but because I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he’s made three attempts on Clara’s life. He fueled Daniel’s perverse delusions. Not once but twice. And when that didn’t accomplish his ends, he sent someone on a suicide mission to run her off the road. I want to know why, and then I want to flay him alive.”

  “And that’s worth continuing to risk her life? You’re as heartless as I am.” I spoke flatly, understanding now that no amount of
reason would breach the mad spite the man clung to.

  His fingers steepled, pressing together so tightly that the tips turned white. “Says the man risking the life of a woman he claims to care for.”

  “I love Belle. I don’t take the danger she’s in lightly. It would behoove you to show the same concern for Clara.”

  “Clara is my wife,” he shot back. “And as such she is my concern.”

  “And Belle is my wife,” I exploded, “so she is also very much my concern. My only concern.”

  Alexander fell silent, studying me as if to ascertain the validity of my claim.

  “We were married in New York,” I continued in a cold voice. “I will not live without her. Not for king and not for country.”

  “That complicates matters.”

  It was the understatement of the century. “Tell me something I don’t know.”

  “You will protect her.” He released a deep breath as he rubbed his temple. “And I can do very little to help you in that regard. Hammond will find out, of course.”

  “I assumed as much, but I also assumed we were much closer to ending this.”

  “Now we’ll have to be.”

  The atmosphere in the room shifted as two opposing forces melded into something unfamiliar. No longer were we two men grappling for authority against one another. For the first time since we’d begun this quest, I felt allied to the man sitting before me.

  I dropped back into the chair facing him. “I never intended to force your hand.”

  “Perhaps you should have. I underestimated your commitment to her.”

  “In your position, miscalculation can be a dangerous weakness.” He needed to be reminded that his duty wasn’t to his own petty vengeance, but to the people he claimed to love. I wouldn’t apologize for being the one to make him see that. I wouldn’t apologize for anything I had to do to ensure my wife was safe.

  “We have days then.” Alexander reached for his mobile and shot off a text. “You took precautions to contain this information.”

  “Yes.” Belle and I had agreed to keep our marriage secret even from our closest friends. Not that I had anyone to share the joyful news with. Only her. But if it was a hardship for her to deceive those she loved, she hadn’t fought me. I suspected she was still processing her decision.

  “He’ll still find out. You should be prepared for that. I told you that I didn’t understand why he persists in coming after Clara. My only theory is that he does so in an attempt to get to me.” Alexander shook his head, as if it were impossible to understand the man’s motivations. “Had I known the first time she was attacked that there was more to what had happened, I would have gone to any lengths to protect her, even if it meant giving her up.”

  “And yet you didn’t,” I pointed out.

  “When I understood the true nature of the situation, she was already carrying my child.”

  I stared him down. No man that loved as possessively as him could actually walk away. “And if she hadn’t been?”

  “I don’t waste my time pondering that. She is my life. I chose her.”

  “Then choose to do what it takes to protect her.” This time, I was the one giving the order. His obsession had to end, and swiftly. For all our sakes.

  “I will.”

  It was as solemn a vow as I had made to Belle. It left no room for doubt in my mind.

  Standing, I stretched out my hand and Alexander took it, sealing our mutual understanding. Relief washed through me. The life that I dreamed of—for her—was finally within my grasp.

  I turned to leave, but as soon as I reached the door, I came face to face with the object of Alexander’s mania. Clara stood outside his office, her arms wrapped protectively around her waist. She glanced up at me with searching eyes. But I didn’t have the answers she sought. I didn’t know this woman, but I knew what she meant to him—what she meant to my wife. So I inclined my head. It wasn’t a gesture of deference but one of concern. Alexander had kept this from her. That much was clear from her pale, sickly expression. I wished I could do more or offer her some comfort, but that was his job now. I didn’t dare come between her and Alexander, even momentarily.

  It was time for each of us to face our fears. Ignorance was no longer an option, nor was inaction. I could only hope she was as strong as the woman I’d fallen in love with, but despite how little I knew of her, I’d watched her grace in the face of public pressure and tragedy. Alexander had been wrong to hide the truth. He would have to deal with the fallout.

  We all would.

  I would never get through all of these emails. Apparently every person I’d reached out to in the last month had chosen to respond to me while I was in New York. Lola had failed to mention that we hadn’t heard from some designers, we’d heard from nearly all of them. I couldn’t help wishing that I’d spent more time working and less time in bed with Smith during our brief overseas holiday.

  “You are a strong, capable woman,” I said out loud, simply because I needed to hear it, even if I didn’t quite believe it. Maybe it would be easier to sell myself on the idea once I was on top of things again.

  By noon I was considering throwing my laptop across the room when my phone vibrated.

  CLARA: I’m stopping by. Okay?

  I responded that it was more than okay and waited with my eyes glued to the door lest I reconsider my decision not to smash my computer against the wall.

  Clara arrived with a sagging diaper bag, cradling a pink bundle. I swiped Elizabeth from her arms immediately, cuddling my godbaby closely. Elizabeth curled her legs up and nuzzled into my shoulder. She was so tiny and delicate still. I could hold her for hours and never grow tired. Instinctively I began to rock her.

  “Careful or she’ll spit up on your shirt,” Clara advised, hovering nearby.

  “That’s okay,” I cooed, kissing her velvety forehead. “Auntie Belle doesn’t mind.”

  Clara held out a burp cloth, her eyebrow arching as I took it and maneuvered it under Elizabeth’s head.

  “What?” I asked as I continued to sway with the baby.

  “You have baby fever,” she accused.

  My mouth fell open. Of all the ridiculous accusations, that had to be the worst. Business fever? Yes. An unrelenting passion for shoes? Obviously. Completely punch-drunk in love? That was undeniable. “Would you prefer I didn’t want to hold her?”

  “No.” Clara shook her head and held out her arms. “But I’ll take her back now.”

  My eyes narrowed and I turned away from her outstretched hands. “You get her all the time, and I’ve been away for the last week.”

  “I think that proves my point.” Clara’s tone couldn’t be drier if she shoved a bag of cotton balls in her mouth. “And speaking of your trip, tell me about it.”

  I turned back to her, studying her suspiciously. She wanted to hear about more than my trip to Central Park or my interview. On the surface, her blue eyes were as glassy as the surface of the ocean on a windless day, but underneath that facade of calm, the waters churned. I knew her too well not to see that.

  “There’s not much to tell.” I hated lying to her. I hated the way the deceit clawed through me, scratching at my stomach and squeezing my heart. I’d done it before, keeping Alexander’s letters hidden to protect her from more heartbreak. But I didn’t have a selfless excuse now. Even if I had my reasons.

  And judging from the pain flashing across her pale features, she already knew much more than she was supposed to.

  I took a deep breath and made a judgment call. “I’m back with Smith.”

  Clara nodded, but I didn’t miss the slide of her throat. She knew more than that.

  Christ, how much did she know and why?

  “This morning, I overheard a rather odd argument. I was walking by Alexander’s office, and he had a visitor.”

  I felt the blood drain from my face, and I took a step back until I felt my desk chair bump the back of my thigh. I definitely needed to be sitting down for t
his one, especially if I was going to be holding a baby.

  “My husband was talking to a man I’ve never actually met,” she continued, her voice breaking as she spoke. “And they were fighting. About what happened the day of our wedding. Stop me if you already know all of this.”

  “Clara, I don’t...I didn’t...” I couldn’t process what she was telling me. “You have to believe me that I didn’t know anything about this.”

  “Nothing?” she demanded, swiping furiously at the moisture pooling in her eyes. “Because that man knows you, and from the sound of it, he knows you intimately.”

  “Not nothing,” I admitted. I wouldn’t feign ignorance. She had never met Smith, but she knew enough to guess it was him in Alexander’s study. A numbness spread through me as her words sunk in. Smith and Alexander. It was unfathomable.

  Smith had been involved with this since long before we met, which meant the two had known each other longer that I’d known him. And suddenly all the half truths he’d told me began to click together, forming a realization I wished I could ignore. I had been sent to Smith—to get to Alexander and Clara. And the times he’d pushed me away hadn’t only been to protect me, it had been to protect them as well.

  Elizabeth began to whimper in my arms. I rubbed circles on her back, wishing for a moment that I were the one being held. I longed to be innocent and blameless—only capable of need—because now I couldn’t differentiate between needing and wanting.

  “Start being honest with me and quickly.” Clara’s sternness took me aback.

  I’d never seen her like this. She was scared, that was something I was familiar with, but she was also fearless. Whatever information I had to give her, she could handle it. My best friend hadn’t always been that way.

  “Smith. I don’t know where to begin.” I hesitated, searching her face for some sign that she didn’t hate me, but coming up empty-handed. “He’s been working to bring a man named Hammond to justice.”

  “Hammond?” she repeated in breathless horror. “The jeweler?”

  “He’s a little more than that,” I told her flatly. I really wished Lola had gotten around to setting up the office bar that we had discussed.