Breathe Me: Smith and Belle (Royals Saga Book 11) Read online

  “They found something at my house.”

  “Sounds ominous,” she admitted.

  “Bones.”

  Her glass paused mid-way to her mouth, an eyebrow arching. “Bones?”

  “Of the human variety,” I answered her unspoken question. “The local police don’t think anything of it.”

  “Isn’t it like a million years-old? There’s bound to be a few bodies in the basement.” Her slender shoulder lifted and I was reminded of a time when I could have been so nonchalant about a discovery of this nature.

  “I would have said the same thing, but the Detective said something that made me wonder if they left something out of the real estate listing.” I recounted my conversation with Longborn to her.

  “It sounds like country superstitions, Sterling,” she said when I finished.

  She had a point. I’d been telling myself the same thing all day. “It probably is, but I suppose I’d rather know what I’m dealing with than listen to rumors.”

  “Are you asking me to find out if your house is haunted?” There was the bluntness I knew her for.

  “I’m asking you to find out about its history,” I clarified. “I don’t believe in ghosts.”

  “If you don’t believe in ghosts, then just see it for what it is: a pile of bones in an old house.” She sipped her drink, her eyes shutting as realization dawned on her. “It scared her, didn’t it?”

  “A little.” It felt like a betrayal to reveal that Belle had been upset by the discovery. She wouldn’t want Georgia to see any weakness in her. “She’s uncertain about the move. I’d rather not have any more surprises. If we know exactly what we’re dealing with, we can avoid that.”

  “I’ll look into it.” Georgia placed her glass on the table and folded her hands, taking a deep breath. “There’s something else I should tell you.”

  I braced myself for whatever bomb she was going to drop. With Georgia, I never knew what to expect, only that there would be fallout.

  “I’m not sure you’re going to be happy about this…”

  “What?” I growled.

  “Just, remember not to shoot the messenger. It’s about your place in Holland Park.”

  “What about it?” I asked slowly. Belle had met up with Edward as soon as we arrived, and I’d been focused on tying up loose ends in the city. We hadn’t been to our townhouse yet, but given that Thornham would be uninhabitable for days if not weeks, we’d planned to meet there this evening.

  “You should see for yourself,” Georgia warned me, “and, Price, you probably want your wife to see it, too.”

  6

  Belle

  It’s never reassuring to get a phone call from your husband telling you he’ll be picking you up in five minutes. I had no idea how Smith knew I was at CoCo’s with Edward. I told myself he’d simply remembered that I used to frequent the Notting Hill restaurant with my friends back in the day. But Smith and I had barely known each other then, and try as I might to dismiss his brusque demand, I suspected he was tracking my phone. After what had happened to Clara, I understood his paranoia. Truth be told, I almost appreciated it. But we weren’t high-value public figures. People didn’t know who we were and our enemies were dead. At times, I had to remind myself that old habits die hard. The longer we continued living in peace, the more it would soothe my husband. I just had to put up with a little over-protectiveness until then.

  “Come with us,” I urged Edward as we stepped onto the sidewalk outside. I flipped the collar of my coat up against the light drizzle that had started while we were inside gorging on fettuccine.

  Edward paused, as though he was honestly considering it, before shaking his head. “I’m not sure being around a happily married couple is the best idea for me right now. No matter how much I love you.”

  I didn’t miss the singular aspect of his proclamation. Edward got along with Smith, but they weren’t exactly close. Really no one was close to my husband. He had something of the beast in him, which put off most people. Not that Smith minded. In fact, he seemed to prefer it that way. I still couldn’t understand how I'd managed to get past the armour he kept so carefully in place. I only wished he’d let someone else in, too. As much as I loved my husband, I was grateful to have friends I could rely on.

  “But you’ll visit when the baby comes, right?” There was no way I was letting him worm his way out of that one.

  “I don’t know. I was thinking about taking a trip. I might not be back in time,” he said with the air of someone who’d just been asked out on an awkward date.

  “Another one?” I snapped, momentarily losing my patience with him. He was going to skip Christmas. Wasn’t that enough? I took a deep breath and shook off my frustration. “I don’t want you to miss this.”

  He gave me a tight smile. “Says the woman who eloped in New York.”

  “That was different.”

  To his credit, he didn’t point out that I was being a hypocrite. He simply raised one eyebrow. “Look, it has nothing to do with you. I just need to get away from this city. Everywhere I look, I see him. But it’s more than that. I don’t see him how he was. I don’t trust any of those memories. He was lying to me the whole time. Nothing we had was real. I can’t even miss him properly.”

  I placed a hand on his arm, feeling like a bitch for losing my temper and letting my hormones get the better of me. “You have every right to your grief. David did love you. I’m certain of that.”

  “Then why did he do it? I thought I knew him better than anyone in the world,” he admitted in a low voice as a group of laughing friends jostled past us into the restaurant. “He had a whole life he kept from me.”

  I thought of Smith and how complicated our relationship was in the beginning. He’d guarded himself and his secrets. It had taken a long time to develop trust between us, but even now I knew there were places deep inside him locked away from me. I suspected they were locked away from him, too. “There’s always unknown places in another person, no matter how much you love them or they love you.”

  “That’s supposed to be what marriage is about,” Edward exploded, startling two women walking past with shopping bags. They huddled closer together and quickly crossed the street. “You find those places—discover them. Together. The good ones and the bad ones. You spend the rest of your life committed to exploring that person until you can read them like a well-worn map.”

  Maybe he was right. Isn’t that what I wanted? To know Smith like I knew myself. Isn’t that what I wanted him to do as well? Discover me? Explore me? Until there was no unknown territory between us. It was the kind of work that took time and commitment.

  “We didn’t get that,” he continued, this time more calmly. “And the worst part is that sometimes, I wonder…”

  I waited for him to tell me, sensing a confession forming. He opened his mouth as a honk startled me from behind.

  I turned to see our new Range Rover pulled to the curb, its headlights illuminating the misty rain. Smith jumped out of the car, frowning, to find me outside. I moved between him and Edward instinctively, knowing that my husband shouldn’t choose this moment to chew him out for letting me stand in the rain.

  “Just a moment,” I ordered him, earning a sharp look of disapproval. But Smith held his tongue. Pivoting back to Edward, I wrapped him in a warm hug, lowering my voice so only he could hear me. “I am always here for you. No judgments. No expectations.”

  “Let me know when you deliver that little hen,” he whispered back. “I promise to come as soon as I can.”

  “I know you will.”

  It was the most I could ask of him. I wanted my best friend to be there, but I also wanted him to heal. Maybe I could help him with that. Maybe some pain had to be faced alone.

  An umbrella swung over my head, and I glanced up to see Smith standing there with a stony face, a sweep of dark hair falling across his eyes. His black coat was buttoned high at his neck, hugging his formidable upper body and he wore black leat
her gloves with notched holes at the knuckles. In the clouds and hazy twilight, he looked like a dark angel. Not the kind that came to deliver good news, but the ones who visited fury and vengeance upon the earth. I shivered.

  Would I ever know all of him? Did I want to?

  “Beautiful,” he said gently but firmly.

  I pecked Edward’s cheek, squeezing his hand goodbye. Smith walked me back to the car, holding the umbrella over my head, his other hand pressed protectively against the small of my back. When I climbed inside, he paused to make certain my seat belt was correctly positioned under the place where our baby girl grew before brushing his lips over mine. Even the small act left me breathless. It reminded me that while I might not ever reach every dark place inside him, it was all open to me. He’d unlocked all the doors. I chose which ones to step through. Settling back in my seat as he circled round to the driver’s side, I decided that was more than most people could ever ask for.

  “Is it warm enough?” he asked as he shifted into drive and pulled out behind a taxi cab.

  “Toasty,” I promised. I hadn’t realized I was cold until I got inside the warm and dry interior cabin. I wiggled my toes, helping them thaw faster.

  “Why were you in the rain?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Because my bear of a husband told me to be ready to go in five minutes, and it took him ten to arrive.”

  That shut him up.

  “Where are we going?” I asked. He hadn’t bothered with specifics when he called. In fact, he’d sounded rather uneasy when we spoke.

  “The house.” He hesitated, stealing a glance at me.

  “Our house? What’s wrong?” I frowned.

  “I met with Georgia this afternoon. She told me that…”

  “What?”

  “I don’t actually know.” The car slowed as we turned onto Holland Park into a traffic jam. He tapped the leather-bound steering wheel impatiently. “What is going on here?”

  “We were only in Sussex for two days. Don’t tell me that you already forgot the traffic.” I said dryly, but he didn’t laugh.

  He craned his head, trying to see around the back-up of vehicles in front of us. He really was worried, which only made me feel more panicked.

  “What exactly did she say?” I asked.

  “That we needed to go by the house. That we should see it in person.” A car next to us turned and Smith guided us over, moving us incrementally closer to whatever disaster awaited us in Holland Park.

  This couldn’t be happening. I wasn’t ready to commit to Thornham. I thought I had more time, but if something had gone wrong at our home in the city, what choice did I have? Convincing Smith that we needed a new London residence was unlikely. Never mind that we would have nowhere to stay tonight. I could call Clara and we could go there, but I doubted Smith would be fond of that idea. I was supposed to have more time. I rubbed circles on my belly. She would be here any day, but I wasn’t ready to fully give up my life in London. Not until she came or we felt ready to be on our own.

  Or maybe ever.

  The more time I spent in London, the more I wondered if I could give it up to move back to the country. What was I supposed to do with my time there? Make menus for the cook to prepare and wander the grounds? Adopt a few dogs? Take up hunting? What had I been thinking?

  I opened my mouth to spill all of my thoughts to Smith when the traffic opened up and we plunged past the lane next to us, turning onto the street that led us home.

  From the outside nothing looked wrong. It was the same stately townhome, the same cozy street, the same quiet, sleepy vibe, I’d expected to find. The windows were dark, though, and that was odd. After making the mutual decision not to hire staff in London, given they had a disturbing tendency to be spying on us in the past, Smith had installed an electronic surveillance system that allowed us to keep an eye on the house, turn lights off and on, even unlock doors remotely in case we needed to let someone in. Georgia was on the list of people who had access, given that she was much closer in case of emergency.

  “I thought we had the lights set to go on in the evening?” I asked. It was a precaution meant to make the house look occupied to potential thieves.

  “We do,” he said grimly. He maneuvered the car to an empty spot on the street in front of the house and parked. “Stay here.”

  “Like hell,” I said. “Georgia said we should both see it.”

  “If there’s someone in there,” he growled.

  I shook my head, unimpressed by the alpha male on display and opened my door. “She would have told us that! I bet the stupid system isn’t working. You know she didn’t approve of it.”

  “I trust a computer more than a man,” he said.

  “There’s a man behind the computer,” I pointed out as he joined me outside the car. I held out my hand, and he took it, somewhat grudgingly. We climbed the steps to the house, Smith fumbling with the app on his phone. But when we reached the door, it was already cracked open.

  “For fuck’s sake,” Smith bit out, his forehead furrowing.

  “You didn’t do that?” I tried not to let my sudden nervousness slip through.

  “No. You’re right. Georgia wanted to show us the bloody thing is broken. I’ll call out the company tomorrow.”

  “But tonight?” I felt uneasy staying here now. What if the doors unlocked overnight and we woke to find someone in our house? Smith would protect us at any cost. I’d learned that lesson before. I didn’t want my husband to have more blood on his hands, though.

  “Wait here,” Smith ordered. This time I didn’t argue as he opened the door and reached for the light switch as the overhead chandelier burst on followed by a loud chorus of “surprise.”

  Thank God my husband didn’t carry a gun anymore. And if looks could kill, the one he was shooting our family and friends might have taken the lot. I released the breath I’d been holding and laughed, shaking his arm, as Georgia stepped from behind the group with a sly smile on her face.

  “Sorry, Price. They made me do it,” she said.

  He glared at her. “Remind me to take you off as a point of contact.”

  Smith might not be pleased, but my heart swelled seeing all the people I loved in one place. My Aunt Jane was here, speaking to my brother John. It was a bit surprising to see him here, but I was glad what little family I had made the occasion. I spotted my mother, pouting in the back of the crowd. She had yet to accept that she was going to be a grandmother or that I’d given the family estate to her step-son. She saw both moves as betrayals. But it was the shining smile at the front of the small cluster that sent tears to my eyes.

  Clara Bishop, my best friend, had been through hell this year, and here she was front and center, smiling to celebrate my new baby. The children were absent and she was holding a glass of champagne. I was instantly jealous. She looked gorgeous, flushed and happy, her curves on display in a fitted cashmere sweater the color of fresh cream and thick, black ponte leggings. Her silky brunette hair looked like she’d just stepped out of the salon and her make-up was minimal but perfectly applies. I bit back a grin thinking about the girl I’d known at university. Then, she’d worn jeans and t-shirts with no interest in fashion much to my dismay. When she’d met the Prince of England, she’d embarked on a style makeover worthy of a reality show. Now, she looked every bit the queen she was.

  “Are you to blame for this?” I asked as she sauntered forward.

  “I couldn’t let my best friend have a baby without giving her one last hurrah.” She threw her free arm around me and I used the momentary distraction to swipe her champagne flute.

  I took a delicate sip and groaned before passing it back to her.

  “I’ll bring you some in the hospital,” she promised with a sympathetic grin. “Unless, you’re going to have the baby…”

  “No, we both agreed to have her here,” I said. At least, Smith and I had agreed on that. “I think he’s going to kick everyone else out of the Lindo Wing.”

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sp; Clara laughed, but I spotted a dark shadow flicker over her face before vanishing. She hadn’t spoken much about the birth of her son, William, but I knew parts of the day haunted her. They probably always would.

  “Where’s Alexander?” I asked, looking around for her husband.

  “Home with the children. He won’t let anyone watch them but you and Georgia and Norris,” she admitted with a whisper, “and Norris and Georgia couldn’t change a nappy if their lives depended on it. One of them is going to have to learn or I’ll be forced to give my mother the keys to Buckingham.”

  “You have me,” I said, feigning offense.

  “I think your days are numbered,” she said, looking me over. “And I thought I’d finally lost you to the country.”

  “We’re back for a while.”

  “You just left two days ago!” But she looked nothing but pleased by this revelation. “Elizabeth misses you. She threw a tantrum when Alexander told her where I was going.”

  “I’ll come by tomorrow.” Life felt right back in London. Here I could make spontaneous plans to visit my godchildren, grab a bite with my best friend, and go home to a quiet house with my husband. “Is Edward here?”

  I suddenly realized why he’d hesitated when I asked him to come along. He’d known about the baby shower and managed to keep it a secret.

  Clara flinched, shaking her head slightly. “I thought he would come...especially, when I messaged him that Alexander wouldn’t be here. I guess he’s avoiding all of us.”

  I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I’d seen him this afternoon. They would work this out with time, but I heard the pain in her voice. She loved him like he was her own brother. Him choosing not to come told her the thing she feared the most: he wasn’t just avoiding Alexander, he didn’t want to see her either.

  “He was probably busy. I mean, I don’t see your sister here either,” I pointed out, trying to distract her as we walked arm and arm into the living room where dozens of delicate pink roses had been used to decorate the mantle and window sills. The table in the corner was laid out with platters of sweets, including a five-tiered stand showcasing mini petit-fours each featuring a sugar tiara. Clara picked up a champagne flute filled with orange juice and passed it to me.